Do you like boooooks?!?!
Welcome to my newsletter, where I complain or rave about the books I’ve read this month. (Note: I read a lot of books this month. Don’t worry, I don’t usually read this much).
Here are the books I read in August, and what I thought of them (in the order that I read them). Let me know what you think!
Museum of Innocence
Orhan Pamuk
In the first five minutes, two people fall in love. They can’t be together, so they break up and nothing else happens FOR 8 YEARS. You’re just stuck inside this guy’s head while he analyzes every object and memory from his brief affair. He's a psychopathic megalomaniac who unremorsefully details all the creepy stuff he does in life without realizing he’s a creep. There are passages where he details all the ways he stalked and smothered this poor girl. Almost half the book is him just staring at her. To create his museum, he openly steals every single object she touches—including 4,000 cigarette butts she smoked over the course of 8 years. I’d actually very much like to visit the museum though.
Fun fact: I have no idea where I got this book but it’s a signed copy (to Lisa… are you Lisa? Do you want your book back?) so even though I felt less than “meh” about it, it will take a place of honor next to my most prized possession—my signed copy of A Little Life.
Did it make me cry: Nope.
Did it make me laugh: Never.
Did it make me miss a subways stop: YES AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW. The chapters are all pretty short, so it makes you forget that you’re reading a giant book (kind of like All The Light You Cannot See). There’s also the teensiest bit of foreshadowing. Just enough to make you want to finish the book, but not enough that you would be mad if somebody spoiled the ending. Would you like me to spoil the ending for you and put you out of your misery? Text me.
Would I recommend it: Not unless you’re insanely interested in 1970s Istanbul bourgeoisie from an anthropological standpoint. Or maybe if you were an insomniac speed reader with an upcoming trip to Istanbul.
Would I read it again: It would have to be one of the last books left on earth.
Would it be a good movie: Perhaps. If you took it away from the narrator and made it about the girl’s quiet rebellion of the patriarchy, it might work.
Delia Ephron
This book is trashy in the best way. I read almost all of it during a 3-hour train ride. The style of narration is preposterous and tiring (4 narrators telling their version of the same events, but all of them somehow have the same cadence and syntax in their internal monologue...?) BUT if it were a movie it would be excellent.
Basically, 2 couples who hate each other and hate their spouses go on vacation for some reason. You can probably guess what happens next.
Did it make me cry: Not that kind of book.
Did it make me laugh: Not that kind of book either.
Did it make me miss a subways stop: I didn’t read it on the subway, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
Would I recommend it: Yes, if you’re into this kind of thing.
Would I read it again: No.
Would it be a good movie: YES PLEASE!
Daniel Handler and Maira Kalman
If you think the Museum of Innocence is a really great idea for a book (a museum of things that tells the story of a relationship), then read this instead. Instead of a museum, the narrator goes through a box of mementos from her brief (but so serious! Ah, high school) relationship, describing each article in chronological order before returning the box full of stuff to her ex. This book is so cute AND there are really great illustrations. Unfortunately, I was reading a free advance copy I found at work, so all the illustrations were in black and white.
It’s a YA book, and it happens to be written by the Lemony Snickett guy (although I never read those books… should I?)
Did it make me cry: No, but I wouldn’t judge you if it made you cry.
Did it make me laugh: It definitely made me smile.
Did it make me miss a subway stop: UGH, yes and I had such a heavy bag with me that I couldn’t just get out and walk the extra 7 blocks. I had to wait for the train coming in the other direction.
Would I recommend it: YES! It’s so adorable and really short. There’s no way somebody would regret reading this unless they are a bad person.
Would I read it again: No.
Would it be a good movie: YES PLEASE!
Jay McInernay
This book is fine, but it is so generic. Every single character has been seen somewhere else before (even in McInernay’s other books… but maybe that’s the point?). The book started off in a promising way. It seemed kind of dark and serious, but then it just turned into an episode of Sex and the City.
Did it make me cry: No.
Did it make me laugh: Yes.
Did it make me miss a subways stop: Yes and then I had to walk an extra 10 blocks and I was late to a meeting.
Would I recommend it: If you’ve read every other beachy lit fic book of the summer then yes.
Would I read it again: No.
Would it be a good movie: It would be such a good and cheesy rom-com but you would need a huge budget to rent all that prime real estate (TriBeCa loft, Hamptons farmhouse, etc.).
Gonzalo Torné
Wow I really hated this book. I hate everything about the narrator. He is such a narcissistic, misogynistic, racist, homophobic, and sad little person. I can tell that the author was trying SO hard to be funny and literary and edgy and maybe it’s just a poor translation but this book is just Bad. It’s so bad that I almost put it down forever after reading the first five pages. In fact, I’m actually kind of mad I didn’t just abandon it. There are so many good books in the world just waiting to be read (or even re-read) and I had to choose this one.
Did it make me cry: No.
Did it make me laugh: I think once.
Did it make me miss a subways stop: No.
Would I recommend it: Not to anyone.
Would I read it again: If it were the last book on earth, I would probably burn it as fuel.
Would it be a good movie: Maybe if it were super low-budget indie film and there was no internal monologue from the narrator.
Brit Bennett
(On sale October 11)
This book is everything a book should be. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and relatable and poignant and there are some scenes from it that are so real you can taste them. It's easily the best book I've read this summer (better than Sweetbitter, better than The Girls, and better than Modern Lovers) but it falls into the same category. And it has a pretty cover.
The title is stupid but it's fine. It's kind of reminded me of Summer Sisters, falling somewhere between literary fiction and YA. But don't be afraid—if you hate YA, you won't hate this book. I would read anything this girl writes.
Did it make me cry: I had a tear in just one eye.
Did it make me laugh: No.
Did it make me miss a subways stop: I didn’t read it on the subway.
Would I recommend it: Yes. If you read any of these books, read this one.
Would I read it again: Yes.
Would it be a good movie: No.
Jonathan Tropper
The premise of this book is absolutely absurd, but Jonathan Topper’s books are like candy. It's like he has this formula of how to craft the perfectly cheesy family drama that is a rom com but somehow funnier, dirtier, more serious, and more profound than your basic Judd Apatow.
Did it make me cry: Ugh, fine.
Did it make me laugh: Ugh, FINE.
Did it make me miss a subways stop: I didn’t read it on the subway
Would I recommend it: UGH FINE.
Would I read it again: No.
Would it be a good movie: UGH, FIIIIINE but I will only watch it under one condition: the random magician at the bar mitzvah has to be Gob from Arrested Development.
Alice Walker
I have somehow made it through life without reading this book. I don't know if it was just never assigned to me, or if it was assigned and I just didn't do the homework (common occurrence in high school). I read the first page, which wasn't even a full page, and I was aghast. "How could they make children read this?!?" Even if you haven't read this, I hope I won't be ruining too much for you but they cover all of the most horrible things on the first page: rape, incest, teenage pregnancy, neglect, and domestic violence. The book only gets more bleak from there. Infanticide, racism, post-Abolition slavery, misogyny, sexism, religious enthusiasm. It's so engrossing because it's 90% horrible and 10% hope and then somewhere in the last 50 pages (ok, now I'm ruining it so if you haven't read it stop reading this and go read the book instead—it will take you like two hours) it turns into a Disney fairytale and all the villains realize the error of their ways and people only die of natural causes and nobody is destitute anymore and people are just straight-up happy. It's the best happy ending of any book I've ever read because it is the most well deserved happy ending of any book. I understand why this book is famous and I understand why it's required reading and I am ashamed that I haven't read it until now. Reading this book is time well spent.
Did it make me cry: Yes! And if this book didn't make you cry you should see a therapist because you're a monster.
Did it make me laugh: No.
Did it make me miss a subways stop: I didn’t read it on the subway.
Would I recommend it: YES. If you’re like me and never read this in highschool, it’s really not too late.
Would I read it again: Yes but not right away.
Would it be a good movie: Isn’t it already a movie? I cannot wait to watch it. I’m so curious to see how they cast this thing.
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
Rebecca Skloot
I don’t like to read the backs of books until after I’m done reading them so I had no idea what I was getting into with this one. People who don’t know me very well have been recommending this book to me for years and it kind of sounds like lit-fic so I just assumed it was but IT’S NOT. IT’S SCIENCE. And you know what? It’s totally not boring. The science is just science-y enough that you barely need a high school education to understand it. I’m 90% sure I’ve never taken a biology class and I didn’t have to google anything, so don’t be scared that it’s a science book. The book was really engrossing (for non-fiction) but I have one major issue with it:
The narrator inserts herself way too much in this story and casts herself as the “white savior” in such a gross way. I would have preferred the book much more if she just left herself out of it. Also her descriptions of the Lacks family were so stereotyped it made me a little bit sick. GIANT eye roll, Rebecca Skloot. Next time you write a book please hire a different editor. You are not charming and nobody cares about how you feel so just BUTT OUT.
Did it make me cry: No, but it made me feel deeply sad and disturbed.
Did it make me laugh: I hope not.
Did it make me miss a subways stop: I didn’t read it on the subway, but I don’t see that happening.
Would I recommend it: Yeah!
Would I read it again: Yes because I think that I could easily forget everything about this book at some point in the future.
Would it be a good movie: It would have been a really great documentary but as a dramatized movie, it would be horrible.
Best book I read this month: The Mothers by Brit Bennett
Best book I read this year (so far): Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward
What am I reading right now: The Mortifications (On sale October 4)
What’s on my bookshelf for next month: Tsar of Love and Techno (I loved a Constellation of Vital Phenomena), Dark Matter, and those Neapolitan books everyone was obsessed with last year that I’m saving for a rainy day or a long flight
What books are on my list to buy (this will take me months to actually do): Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead, Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, M Train by Patti Smith, and that new Patty Hearst book
Best book I read this month: The Mothers by Brit Bennett
Best book I read this year (so far): Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward
What are you reading this month? (I think, but I’m not sure, that you can reply to this email and tell me)
Do you like my book banter? Tell your friends to sign up! http://tinyletter.com/theodora
Best book I read this month: The Mothers by Brit Bennett
Best book I read this year (so far): Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward